Her Boy
by Ruby Rosetta Red
Summary: Robert Goren is her boy, but who is she?. To find out please read and rate. Second Chapter now up. Deals with Bobby ten years after 'Her Boy' All reviews greatly appreciated. Final chapter now up.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **_The characters of Bobby Goren and Frances Goren and CI in general belong to Dick Wolf and connected people. The character of Mrs Pastorelli is mine. This is my first CI fic, which popped into my head fully formed. I have taken liberties in naming Bobby's father and brother...not having seen S5 CI yet, i don't know whether their names are canon or not. But i wondered about Frances Goren and what she could've been like before Carmel Ridge._

Frances Goren was a tiny woman. An inch maybe over five feet tall but she was no pushover. People respected her and her family even if her husband didnt. She was never afraid to stand up for what she believed in. And she would teach her children that too. It was a good thing to have faith. She felt the child inside of her move and stretch and she rubbed her swollen stomach gently, feeling the baby respond. Another son, she was sure of it. She stood in the small kitchenette and watched her firstborn sitting on the rug crashing two toy cars together, adding sound effects of crushing metal and explosions himself. She watched him for a little while and sighed quietly. Already Billy was the living incarnation of his father, would be as tall as him too. The Goren's were all tall, wide shouldered and strong, all cut from the same cloth. She turned back to the sink and massaged her back absently. Billy had been a big baby and it had been a tough labour, odds on that this little one would be too. She looked down at her stomach, the maternity dress that she wore already stretched to its limitations. She hoped he didn't grow any further, she couldn't afford any fancy new maternity wear, what she was wearing was what was left over from being pregnant with Billy. There was barely enough money to feed and clothe Billy, never mind buy herself anything new. What Bill made, he usually gambled, drank or whored away.

It was so hot today. She lifted her dark hair away from her neck, aware of the perspiration dampening the back of her neck and her hairline. Another month before this baby would be born and he was due in the height of summer. Maybe there was a connection there somehow. Maybe it was her punishment for becoming pregnant again. To deliver this baby she would effectively burn in the fires of hell.

"Billy, come get your lunch sweetheart" Five-year-old Billy Goren barely lifted his head from the toy adventure unfurling in front of him. Frances regarded him with mild frustration. Billy could be a real handful sometimes; she wasn't sure how she was going to cope with him and a new baby. God help her if the baby turned out to be just like his brother, she didn't know whether she'd be able to cope. She hoped that in time she could get back to work at the library, make some extra cash. Maybe in time for Christmas. She smiled to herself. She loved Christmas, loved seeing the look of excitement and expectation on Billy's face. She tried to make the holiday as special as she could for him and she would too for this new baby.

She went into labour two weeks earlier than expected. Her waters broke just like that, gushing over the cheap linoleum floor. The pains had set in almost immediately, pulsating, vicious and hard. She had first got on her hands and knees and cleaned up the mess, gritting her teeth and trying not to cry out too loud in case she woke Bill up. He had come home steaming drunk in the early hours, stinking of cheap perfume and belligerent with it. He'd been looking for a fight and the way he had watched his wife prepare him a meal in just her nightgown and robe, the look had been mean. Frances knew when to keep her mouth shut and her head down and when not to, she sometimes gave as good as she got, but not so much since Billy had been born. Slowly she got to her feet and braced herself for another labour pain. She breathed slowly and deeply and knew that this child would be here soon whether she willed it or not.

Billy ran to get their neighbour, Mrs Pastorelli who had been a midwife in her time. She'd birthed countless babies in her past, Billy included and she arrived quickly and checked her over.

"Yep. Baby's on his way. And in a hurry too" she had looked at Frances with lively chocolate brown eyes.

"Two weeks early. We need to get you to bed otherwise you'll be birthin' this baby on the kitchen floor" she informed her. Frances's eyes widened.

"Bill's still sleeping, he won't be happy to be woken up" she told her in a hurried voice. Mrs Pastorelli rolled her eyes. She knew Bill Goren's reputation, everyone did.

"Well that's just his tough luck ain't it? Right now, this baby is more important" Frances closed her eyes with regret when she heard the old lady head into their bedroom and presently turf the father to be out of bed. Bill protested loudly just as she thought he would and she didn't dare look at him when he stomped into the living room in an undershirt and unbuckled pants. Mrs Pastorelli followed shortly afterwards, with a determined gleam in her eye. She went to Frances and helped her to her feet.

It turned out the baby wasn't in a real hurry to arrive after all. The day passed slowly. The bedroom was stifling and Frances would've given anything for somebody to open a window. Pain after pain racked her tiny body, distorted by her huge pregnancy. Mrs Pastorelli made all sorts of muttering about how the baby would be too big to be delivered the normal way and that she would maybe have to go to hospital to have it cut out of her. Her eyes widened at that possibility. There was no way they could afford to do that, Bill wouldn't tolerate her being out of action for more than a few days, and she didn't want to begin to think how he would cope with taking care of Billy on his own. Patience was not his strong point. She took a deep shaky breath. No, she would deliver this child as God intended, whether it killed her or not.

She barely had the strength to raise her head. She stared at the shadowy ceiling instead and wondered what heaven would be like. She would be free of this never-ending pain, free of the responsibility of raising two children. The idea of freedom sounded like the best thing all around at that moment.

"Frances. I need you to concentrate now. It won't be long" she barely heard Mrs Pastorelli's voice, didn't hear the undertones of worry. _It won't be long._ Didn't she say that when she'd first arrived? How long ago had that been? She didn't care any more. She just wanted it all to stop and go away, she was through with birthing this baby. She closed her eyes.

"Frances!" Mrs Pastorelli's voice was sharp and reprimanding and obediently her eyes popped open.

"I can see the baby's head, he's right there. Three more good pushes and he'll be out" she told her. Frances stared at her dazedly.

"Three more pushes" she slurred and let her body take over the task.

He arrived in a rush of blood and other birthing fluid straight into Mrs Pastorelli's awaiting hands. Frances gave a big sigh and was still, thankful that it was over. She closed her eyes, already the mists of exhaustion beginning to claim her.

"A boy Frances…big too. Has to be nine pounds if he's an ounce" Frances sighed.

"That's…nice…" she breathed.

"Looks just like his dad and his big brother too" she told her as she cleaned up the wriggling child and swaddled him. He was long, possessed the longest legs she'd ever seen in an infant and huge hands…big wide palms with long graceful looking fingers along with a head of thick black hair. But it was his quietness astounded her. Normally a newborn entered the world screaming, full of rage and injustice at being evicted from their nice warm haven. But not this little boy. She looked down at him. This little boy didn't utter a sound, just observed his surroundings with wide eyes before fixing on her face and staring at her with what looked like great interest. Despite herself, she smiled.

"Well hello little man" she greeted in a quiet voice. She turned her head towards the new mother. Her eyes were closed. It had been a tough labour, even tougher than her first. She'd been really scared that it would be too much for her but she'd got on with it, which was typical of her nature. If life threw her lemons then she made lemonade.

"Got a name for this one Frances?" she asked, walking to the head of the double bed, the swaddled child in her arms. Frances opened her eyes and looked at her. Mrs Pastorelli lay the infant in her arms but she barely looked at him.

"Robert. Robert Owen. That was my maiden name"

"A fine name for a fine boy" Mrs Pastorelli told her, though she was a little alarmed by her seeming lack of interest in her newest little boy.

_"A fine name for a fine boy" _her voice was like a whisper of a breeze.

"What was that mom?" Frances turned her head and looked at the man who sat by her bed. Who was he? She didn't recognise him immediately, apart from the fact that he was the absolute spitting image of her husband Bill. And he had called her mom?

"I was just remembering…" she began and then paused. What was she remembering? The new medication they were giving her made her more forgetful these days. She leaned back against the pillow and closed her eyes.

"I don't know what I was remembering" Exhaustion seeped through her, weighing her down as it always did. If she wasn't feeling nauseous through the chemo then it was this constant tiredness.

"I have to go now," the voice told her. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. He was standing up now and he was so tall. Handsome too.

"Do you know, you look just like my husband? Do you know him? His name is Bill Goren. He was supposed to be visiting me today but he didn't show up" she didn't let her disappointment show in her voice. Bill hated it when she complained that he didn't visit enough. She closed her eyes. She had to get some rest. Maybe Bill would visit tomorrow.

New York Police Detective Robert Goren watched his mother sleep. He wondered what it was that she had been remembering. All that she'd said was 'a fine name for a fine boy' and even then he'd barely heard her. He swallowed against the lump in his throat. She had confused him with his dad again. Once upon a time when she'd done that, he'd tried to correct her but it got to the point that eventually he stopped. She was in a calm mood today; there were days when she was difficult, argumentative and sometimes even combative. For such a tiny lady, she could pack one hell of a punch.

"I'll stop by tomorrow mom," he told her quietly and leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. He straightened and continued to watch her. She barely stirred, her eyes remaining closed. He quietly sighed. Along with the paranoid schizophrenia that had blighted her life as well as his own, cancer was slowly eating its way through her frail body. The doctors had measured her time in weeks. He wasn't ready to let her go. Not just yet.

"Robert Owen. That's what I called him" he stopped in his tracks at his mother's voice. His heart thudded in his chest. Her eyes were still closed and he wondered whether she was dreaming.

"My boy. My boy" she continued to murmur, the words beginning to slur. Bobby felt tears burn the back of his eyes. He swallowed and left the room.

**END**


	2. His Fear

**A/N:**_ 'Her Boy' was originally going to be a one shot. Then i got the idea for this chapter whilst writing another fic. Not sure whether i'll write any more. I've kept the names of Bobby's father and brother the same as i did in 'Her Boy' for continuity purposes. It's set ten years after the events of 'Her Boy'. The characters of the Goren family belong to Dick Wolf et al, Maria Pastorelli again is my own creation. _

**His Fear.**

It was times like these that Maria Pastorelli wished that her apartment block came equipped with an elevator. Her knees ached intolerably with each step up the never-ending stairway. It also didn't help that she lived on the top floor. Sweat trickled down her back, her blouse sticking uncomfortably to it. She looked forward to getting into her apartment and setting those cursed packages down and resting up for a few moments.

Already she could hear it. She realised that probably everyone in the entire building could but chose to ignore it. Bill Goren was nothing but a bully with an over inflated sense of self-importance. Her heart twinged in sympathy for those two boys of theirs. Of the two of them, little Robert was the more sensitive, the quieter. Billy was quickly turning into Bill Goren mark two though Robert showed none of this. He was more like his mother, in her more lucid times God help her.

"Mrs Pastorelli, let me help you with those" she lifted her head when she saw Robert standing in front of her. He was tall for ten years of age. She tried to ignore the state of his clothing, that his jeans were too short in length and that the t-shirt that accompanied it had seen better days too. He held himself with almost quiet pride. Instead she smiled at him.

"Robert, you're an angel, thank you" she replied instead and let him take the two heavy brown sacks that she'd hauled from the store on the corner. He carried them with ease. Together they walked to her apartment in companionable silence. Young Robert wasn't much of a talker, and Maria had to wonder at that. Frances had told her before that he was a very bright little boy, was able to read before he started school and academically very sharp. She had high hopes for her youngest child. Presently they arrived at her front door and Robert stood, still holding her purchases as she took her key out of her purse and unlocked her door. She turned and looked at him, looked into his sad brown eyes.

"How about sitting with me for a spell Robert? I could use the company" she watched him turn his head, look towards the staircase indecisively.

"That's if you'd like to of course? I have some lemonade, some cookies freshly baked this morning." She tempted and watched him turn his head and look at her again.

"Thank you Mrs Pastorelli, that would be nice" he replied. He was never failing in his politeness, which made such a change from the youth of today.

"Come along then young man" she told him and stood aside as he went into her apartment.

She watched him place the parcels on the kitchen table and then turn to look at her. He'd lost weight, she realised with a shock. It was as though he could read her mind as he turned sharply away to stare out of the tiny window. She sighed quietly. His mother slipped in and out of lucidity these days. When she was like that, a lot of things got neglected and sadly her boys seemed to be one of them.

"Are you hungry Robert?" she asked him. She saw the infinite straightening of his spine, the way his chin tilted slightly. Of course he was hungry, he was a growing boy after all. She went towards him and placed a hand on one narrow shoulder and felt the muscle tense. He'd hadn't exactly flinched from her touch but obviously a touch of any sort was to him, something hardly welcomed.

"I'll make you a deal. You put away my groceries and I'll make you some lunch. How does that sound?" he glanced at her again. Then he nodded.

"That sounds fair" he replied. She smiled at him.

"Then we have a deal," she told him.

She watched with half an eye as he carefully put away her groceries, carrying bottles and breakables with special care. It was heartbreaking to see how careful, how cautious he was. Kids of his age broke things; it was almost genetic, especially in boys. It broke her heart all over again to see this young man walking around her kitchen, almost afraid of his own shadow. The influence of his parents without a doubt. The Goren temper was legendary in some circles and hadn't eased with time it would seem, judging just how loud she'd heard Bill yelling when she'd walked past their door. His wife was desperately sick and he either didn't want to, or just refused to see it. She needed to go into hospital and get well for her boys, but who would take care of them in her absence? Bill surely wouldn't, he wouldn't know how to and she herself didn't like the idea of those two boys being at the mercy of their father without their mother as some kind of buffer zone. Young Robert was especially close to his mother, something that often irked and annoyed his father. Robert couldn't help but be the sensible soul that he was but he loved his mother without question.

She made him thick cut sandwiches, with potato chips and a tall glass of lemonade. She left him alone to eat, figuring he didn't need anyone to hover over him.

The next time she went into her kitchen, she saw him sitting by the window and he was staring out. There was a distant expression on his face and she wondered what he could be thinking about. She also noticed that the plate and glass that he had used were rinsed out and placed neatly on the drainer. He turned his head and looked at her over one shoulder.

"All done?" she asked him even though she knew that he was. He nodded slowly and then turned to look back out of the window. There was nothing really to see out there, just the back alleys.

"Why don't you come on through to the living room, watch television or read a book? Christina will be dropping by and no doubt she'll be bringing Anthony with her" Anthony was her grandson, two years old and full of the what life should bring a child, not this still, haunted boy in front of her.

She watched as he perused her book collection as she sat in her easy chair and read the front page of her newspaper. She saw him select something, open it and read the front page. It obviously interested him because he was still reading it when he wandered to the sofa and sat down with it.

Time passed companionably by and Maria almost forgot about him sitting there, lost in the tale of the book he'd chosen until a loud slam made them both jump. She looked at Robert, to see him closing the book, his brown eyes wide, his skin already too pale, whiten. Seconds later they both heard the sound of Frances Goren screaming. None of it made any sense and she saw the boy tense up and begin to get to his feet.

"I…I had better go. My mom will be wondering where I am," he placed the book carefully on the chair beside him and look at her.

"Thank you for lunch Mrs Pastorelli" he told her and she stood up and followed him to the door. He opened the door and would've bolted out if she hadn't taken hold of his arm.

"You're always welcome here Robert, you know that don't you?" his expression was grave and he nodded quickly. She released her hold on him and watched him hurry away, down the stairs and out of sight.

Robert managed to get into the apartment this time. He closed the door quietly behind him and listened. His heart had almost flown out of his chest when he had heard the door slam. His dad had finished yelling at his mom and was probably on his way to get rip roaring drunk and probably gamble away the few dollars he had in his pocket and when that was gone he'd come back here all pissed off and the fighting and screaming would begin again. It was a vicious circle and it never ever stopped. His mother chose that moment to appear from out of the kitchen and automatically he tensed. He recognised the mean look in her eyes.

"Where have you been?" she demanded, stalking over to him. Robert resisted the urge to back away from her though his knees trembled very slightly. She stood right in front of him and stared at him through narrowed eyes.

"I…I've been helping Mrs Pastorelli," he stammered out.

"And no doubt she's been feeding you too huh? Don't I do enough for you? She wants you for herself, now her family is all grown up she thinks she can have mine now well that's not going to happen!" she snapped. Robert slowly swallowed.

"I was being helpful mom, you always taught me to help others and I was," he tried to explain.

"She always takes advantage of your good nature but I won't let her get away with it. She's not getting my boys, no way. I'll sort her out good and proper" her eyes seemed to glitter the more agitated she became. Robert sighed.

"I'm sorry mom. I won't do it again," he told her

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" she yelled and the back of her hand caught his face, rocking him on his heels. He tasted blood inside of his mouth and his cheek smarted and no doubt would sport a red mark there soon but he didn't cry, didn't show a reaction. He didn't dare to; it would only make things worse.

Maria sighed when she heard Bill Goren yelling his wife's name a few hours later. She heard him hammer on the door and scream at her to let him inside. She went out onto the landing in time to see him shoulder barge the door open. Immediately she could smell something, silent and insidious, it oozed out of the Goren apartment and Maria's eyes widened in alarm when she recognised it. It was gas. She hurried as quickly as her legs would allow her in time to see Bill run out of the apartment with Robert in his arms. His head lolled back, jiggling uselessly with every step his father took. She only caught a glimpse of his face but it was bleached white of colour, sooty shadows beneath both eyes, his lips tinged blue. Her heart leaped in her breast as she struggled down the stairs and after them both as other people came out of their apartments to wonder at what the fuss was about.

She caught up to Bill as he burst through the front door of the apartment building out into the street. He fell to his knees, his son still cradled child-like in his arms.

"Breathe Bobby…damn it!" he cursed. He lifted his head and looked at the old woman.

"Help me!" he beseeched and slowly she got down onto her knees beside him, ever aware of the curious crowd that had gathered around to watch and to speculate. In the distance, sirens could already be heard.

"Give him to me" she told him and he moved out of the way to allow her access to him. At the same time thankfully Robert began to show some signs of coming to. Maria watched his eyes roll beneath his eyelids and then spring open and he took in a huge lungful of air and then began to cough.

An ambulance took both he and his mother to the nearby hospital. Maria stood on the kerb and watched it pull away.

He came home the following day and he was a pale shadow, so fragile looking. There was no sign of Frances, the rumour was that Bill had finally listened to the doctors and had her committed for psychiatric treatment. Another month passed and the Goren family moved out all together. She stood by the window and looked down at the reduced family. Robert stood on the sidewalk and looked upwards and at that moment their eyes connected and held.

Bobby stared at the grave, still freshly dug and carefully he laid the flowers down by the marker. He missed her more than he could ever have imagined. Even remembering the mood swings, the paranoia and the all-encompassing fear, he missed his mother. He straightened up and exhaled quietly. Now came the hardest part, living his life.


	3. His Life

_The third and final installation of 'Her Boy'. Partly inspired by Mary T's wonderful fic 'Revelations' 'His Life' is my interpretation of Bobby wanting a life outside of taking care of his sick mother. I'm interested in Bobby Goren and this is a 'what if'. The characters of Robert and Frances Goren belong to Dick Wolf et al. Evangeline Tyler, Mary and Daniel Tyler are mine as well as the doctor and Maria Pastorelli. I kept the name of Bobby's brother the same for continuity purposes even though it's not the right one. All errors, while non intentional, are all my own. _

* * *

After the chaos of his formative years, he craved routine. All he knew was that he couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't keep trying to rescue her, and he couldn't keep up with the admissions, the hope, and the devastation. It just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to either of them to hope. 

His father was long gone, so was his brother. He didn't have a clue where they were and if he were to be brutally honest, he didn't want to know. For what it was worth, the life he had now was a better choice than any life with them in it. His father's desertion still hurt, it still confused him. It still made him furious.

School was an ordeal. He was counting the days until graduation and he could leave this place behind him and look forwards. Well, that was the idea anyway. He was barely making his grades, scraping through his exams but he was hanging on, he just had to.

"Heading home Bobby?" he turned his head at the feminine voice.

"Yeah. You?" she nodded, clutching her books to her chest.

"Can I walk with you?" she requested. The smile he sent her way was genuine.

"Sure Evie"

They made the familiar trip home. Evangeline Tyler lived in the same block and at least once a week they walked home from school together and talked about their days. Bobby welcomed the company, enjoyed it even. She was a girl after his own heart. She was quiet, studious and a fellow bookworm to boot. They talked about what they had read, treasures they had discovered and other similar subjects. She wasn't aware of it but she even made him feel more comfortable in his own skin sometimes, she was a slice of normality in a crazy increasingly unhinged world.

The familiar dread squirmed in the pit of his stomach as their apartment building came into view. When he'd left this morning, his mom had been in an increasingly distracted state of mind. Nothing held her attention, she'd go off on a tangent and lose track of what she was talking about, and her temper was becoming erratic. It all pointed to another breakdown. He had wanted to take the day off school and stay with her, just in case everything got too much for her and she needed him but she had all but shoved him out of the door and slammed it behind him, yelling at him from behind it that she would be fine. He knew then that she wouldn't be but he knew that she wouldn't let him back inside and to be truthful he was just too damned tired to argue with her today.

He should've paid more attention.

"So, what do you think?" Bobby came to attention and looked at her with guilty brown eyes.

"I'm sorry, I completely spaced…what was that?"

"Our history assignment. I was planning on hitting the books tonight, get it out of the way for the weekend. Want to study with me?" he looked at her, saw the shyness in her blue eyes and the faint blush of her cheeks.

"Uh…tonight?"

"Unless you have something else planned?"

"No…no…" he never had 'something else' planned. Each day began and ended the same for him. Going to school and taking care of his mom, unless it was a weekend and then he just took care of his mom. He shook the bitter thoughts away.

"Uh…sure, I could do that…where?" her expression brightened up.

"At my place? Then you could be close by in case…." She glanced away briefly, suddenly embarrassed. He understood and was touched. In case his mom needed him.

"Sure…that would be…okay, it'd be…fine" he stumbled over his words. Evie sighed deeply as they climbed the final set of stairs to his apartment. The Tyler's lived on the floor above.

"See you in about an hour?" they got to the top of the stairs and Bobby then paused suddenly.

His belongings were strewn on the floor outside his front door. His clothes, books, papers and all he could think was _how the hell did she get into my room?_

"Shit" he cursed beneath his breath and hurried forwards. The front door wasn't quite closed and he followed the trail of destruction inside. His bedroom door was hanging off one hinge and he stared at it in stupefied amazement. His heart began to pound in his chest and he slowly turned and looked around. The place looked as though a bomb had hit it. Furniture was turned upside down; crockery lay shattered on the linoleum floor. His eyes widened

"Ma? Mom?" his voice rose in panic. There was no reply. He swallowed, his throat going dry.

"Ma?" he repeated and noticed that her bedroom door was shut. He hurried towards it and opened it.

Similar chaos greeted him; it looked as though a hurricane had hit it. He took a couple of steps inside, his eyes wide.

"Mom?" he lowered his voice and then he saw her.

She was huddled in a corner, tightly pressed against the wall; her knees were pulled up against her chest, her thin arms wrapped around them. He sighed in relief and went towards her. Her head snapped up and she stared at him with stark wide eyes. He stopped dead in his tracks when she raised both hands, palm outwards in front of her face.

"No. Get away from me!" she shrieked and Bobby stared at her with wide eyes.

"Momma?" She stared at him in absolute fear.

"What are you doing here? Why did you come back? You can't have him!" she screamed and Bobby flinched at the shrillness of her voice, shaken by the rage beneath it.

"Mom…please…" he went towards again, keeping his movement steady and slow. He crouched down in front of her. He reached out to touch her. He took her hand and held it between his own.

"Mom…it's Bobby…you're safe ma, no one's going to hurt you I swear" he kept his voice low and soothing.

"No!" she shrieked and yanked her hand from his. She struck out at him, catching him across his face with such strength that it knocked him back onto his butt. He stared at her in shock, tasting blood inside his mouth. She then launched herself at him, beating him around his head and shoulders.

"You can't have him…leave him be, he's mine not yours…you have no right to him!" she ranted. He lifted both hands to grab her wrists and he pushed her back and she retreated back into her corner, breathing heavily, her eyes wild.

"Bobby" he started when he heard Evie's quiet voice and he turned his head and looked at her. She was staring at him with wide eyes, a bundle of his clothes in her arms. Humiliation burned inside of him.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. Her eyes widened further and her mouth opened as if to say something in her defence, but nothing came out. He got to his feet. His face hurt and he still tasted the coppery tang of blood in his mouth.

"You need help Bobby?" her voice was quiet, sounded stunned. He shook his head.

"No. Everything's…okay. I'll be…fine," he told her. He walked towards her and took the clothing from her.

"You need to go now…." He touched her shoulder and directed her towards the door, ushering her out. She turned and looked at him, in time to see him close the door in her face. She looked down and saw the rest of his belongings strewn around. She sighed quietly and set about picking them up, folding clothing and piling books and paperwork neatly and leaving them in front of the door.

* * *

The screaming woke the entire block. It pulled them out of their apartments and Evie was no exception. 

Bobby stood in the corridor and all he wore were blue pyjama bottoms and an undershirt. He held his mother in his arms, could feel how violently she trembled. She burrowed her head into his chest and he tightened his arms protectively around her. She was moaning quietly and his heart ached, his stomach was so tense, he felt like he was going to puke. He knew that they were the centre of attention; the neighbours always seemed to rely on the Goren family to provide the late night entertainment. He was bone tired, past the point of exhaustion and he hated all of this and all of them.It had been the final straw; an act of complete desperation that had made him call for help. He couldn't go on, he physically couldn't take it any more and he felt ashamed of himself for reaching this final, last destination. But he knew that it was the right decision. He looked down as he felt her move and saw her looking at him. Her brown eyes were filled with desperation and she dug her fingers into his undershirt.

"I'll take my medication Bobby, I promise I will," she pleaded quietly. He felt a lump rise in his throat at how pathetic, how utterly lost she sounded.

"I know you will ma, but you keep forgetting and then you have bad spells, like tonight" he replied just as quietly. Beside him stood her doctor from the hospital and he was watching them both gravely. A few feet away two nurses stood, ready to take her into their custody. She was well aware of their presence and he guessed that was what made her cling tighter to him.

"You need to rest ma, somewhere where they can help you" he murmured.

"But I have to be with you…they'll take you don't you understand? If I'm here, he can't take you" he tilted his head to one side.

"No one is taking me anywhere momma. Look at me, look how big I am, nobody is taking me anywhere, I promise" her eyes widened with fear.

"He's so smart, he's clever. He'll get into your head and poison you. He can't do that when I'm here to protect you" her voice became irate and her grip became tighter. His heart twisted in his chest at her desperation.

"Please ma… for me? You'll get better soon and you'll be able to come home again," he told her. It was then that Doctor Smith took a step towards them.

"Mrs Goren…Frances…it's time to go now," he told her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. She tensed up and clung tighter to her son.

"I'm not leaving, _my son needs me!_" she yelled. Doctor Smith looked at the two nurses and nodded slightly. They went towards her and took her arms.

"No…no! Bobby!" she screamed and he stiffened as she was pulled away from him. He felt tears burn the backs of his eyes, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him.

He stood stock still, his mother's screaming echoing around his brain. He turned his head as Doctor Smith approached him.

"What about you Robert?" he enquired. It was then that Robert Goren straightened up to his full six feet plus in height.

"I can take care of myself Doctor Smith, I'll be eighteen in a couple of months," he informed him proudly. The doctor regarded him sceptically, he saw the pride he also saw the fear. And he didn't blame him.

"But you're not eighteen yet" he reminded him.

"It's okay Doctor, he can stay with us" another voice intervened and Bobby turned and then he stared.

"And you are?" the doctor demanded.

"We're Daniel and Mary Tyler. We live upstairs. Bobby and our daughter Evie are friends; they attend the same school. He's welcome to stay with us for a while" Bobby's eyes widened at their kindness. The doctor returned his attention to him.

"Is that okay with you Bobby?" after a moment he nodded. He watched Daniel walk towards him and lay a hand on his shoulder.

"That's that settled then" He looked at Bobby.

"Why don't you get a few things together son? Mary will make up the spare bed for you" Bobby could only nod, his shattered brain unable to process any more information. Doctor Smith watched him, saw him trying to grapple with what was going on. He'd known him since Frances's first admission when he'd been ten years old. The boy had been scared and confused then; nothing had changed eight years later.

"Your mother will be fine Robert. You know she's in the best possible place for treatment. Why don't you call us tomorrow and we'll arrange for you to see her?" Bobby nodded rapidly. He'd heard this before, too many times. He just wanted everything to be normal, to be like it should be, not this.

"And someone will drop by soon to see how you are" the doctor added and a flash of something flared in Bobby's eyes.

"I'm okay Doctor, I'm not a kid anymore" Doctor Smith regarded him sadly. He very much doubted that Robert Goren had ever been a 'kid'.

"It's procedure Robert. People need to see that you're okay. As it is, that's a very interesting bruise you have on your face" he saw him stiffen and his hands clench into tight fists.

"I bumped into a door," he muttered. And the subject was dropped.

Slowly the neighbours began to drift back to their apartments, the entertainment over for the evening but it was fuel for more gossip in the morning. Bobby went back into his destroyed apartment and stood for a moment in the mess and stared with sightless eyes.

"Sweetheart, don't forget to get some clothes together" he started when he heard Mary Tyler's soft voice and again he could only nod. He went into his bedroom. Mary looked at her husband and daughter.

"I'll go get the spare bedroom set up. Evie, make sure he's okay" she instructed.

"He isn't okay mom. His mom got taken to a mental hospital, he's far from okay"

"Then go be with him. He needs a friend with him right now"

"Need some help?" Bobby started when he heard Evie's voice. He stood by his narrow bed and still stared into space. He didn't have much, a bed, a desk and a chest of drawers and that was it. His belongings were piled haphazardly here and there from earlier in the evening. She looked at the bare walls and then back at him. His shoulders were slumped in defeat.

"I'm okay," he mumbled.

"No you're not. It's okay to admit that you're not okay," she told him.

"Evie"

"We don't mind you staying with us, it'll be okay, and we'll help you out"

"I don't need anybody's help" he retorted. He watched Evie sit on his bed and look at him.

"That's pride talking Bobby. Everyone needs help at sometime in their life and we want to help you"

He felt anger surge brutally through the numbness. He couldn't tamp it down, its heat was unrelenting and he was suddenly furious.

"Is this what my life is going to be from now on Evie? Taking care of my mother from one breakdown to the next? In and out of hospitals, trying to cope?" even as the words poured out of him, it terrified him.

"No one is doubting how much you love your mom but sometimes love just isn't enough anymore and you have to try and let go a little bit, let someone else take some of the weight" He watched her stand up.

"Now are you going to get some clothes together because its after three in the morning and you look ready to drop" He looked at her, the anger inside of him subsiding.

"I'll be there in a minute," he mumbled.

"Really? Because if you're not, it'll be my mom over here and she won't be as patient"

* * *

Bobby stayed with the Tyler's until he graduated from high school. He visited his mother regularly at the hospital and some of the constant stress from taking care of her began to ease. 

Evie was the one he confided in that he was going to join the army. He wanted some order in his life, he wanted a career and he wanted his mom to be proud of him. Evie's parents promised to visit her until he felt ready to take over the reins again and it was Evie who drove him to the bus station.

She stood with him as around him, other new recruits waited with their loved ones. Evie watched him, saw the hunched up shoulders and the way he avoided eye contact with just about everyone. He was quiet, introspective and she knew that he still felt guilty at leaving his mother. Presently the bus pulled up and everyone began to line up. Evie saw the way Bobby straightened. When he wasn't slouching, his height was impressive. He looked at her.

"I guess this is it then" he began quietly. Evie smiled. She went towards him and threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Surprised, Bobby returned the embrace. She then moved away from him and watched him pick up his suitcase.

"You have our address and our phone number. Stay in touch okay?" he nodded.

"Thank your parents for me Evie," he told her and she just nodded. She took a step back and watched as he joined the line boarding the bus that would take him to basic training. She felt a lump rise in the back of her throat as she watched him get on the bus and choose a seat. He lowered his tall frame into it and looked at her. His expression was serious, a mild frown forming between his eyebrows. Pretty soon everyone was on board and after a moment, the bus engine roared into life and began to back out of its bay. Evie raised a hand and waved. He raised a hand in return, his expression never wavering. Soon the bus was gone and Evie stood where she was and wondered if he would ever get the opportunity to live his life the way he wanted to

* * *

Shadows grew long across the room but still Bobby didn't move. He sat in the chair by the vacant bed and stared sightlessly ahead. Doubts and fears crowded his mind along with many unanswered questions. His mother had left him with an emotional bombshell to deal with and it scared him. It had pulled the proverbial rug from beneath his feet and he felt as though he had nowhere else to turn. 

Things made more sense to him now. He remembered her screaming at him that she wouldn't let him take him, that he would poison his mind and he had just assumed, like everyone else that it was a result of severe paranoid delusions. Now they made sense and it choked him. She had been genuinely trying to protect him.

Her belongings were neatly arranged, awaiting collection. Her clothing he would donate to Goodwill but he'd chosen to keep personal mementoes, photographs and the little jewellery that she had. A nurse had reminded him that visiting hours were long since over and still he'd been unable to bring himself to leave this room. This room that had been the centre of both their universes for so long.

He turned his head slightly as the door opened again, letting in the thinnest sliver of light from the corridor outside.

"Hey" he watched her come into his line of vision; watched her as she crouched down in front of him.

"Are you ready to leave now?" her voice was gentle and undemanding. He looked into her eyes for a long moment and felt emotion begin to burn through the all-pervading numbness.

"You're thinking about Brady again aren't you?" it wasn't an accusation and he didn't take it as such.

"You do not owe that man a thing Bobby. Not a thought, not a single wonder. All that you are has nothing to do with him, he can't lay a claim to that" he just looked at her.

"She told me that she was never really sure…" He couldn't finish the sentence and instead shook his head a little.

"And that bastard Brady wanted to mess with your head. Don't let him win Bobby. The past is the past."

"The dates all fit," he muttered more to himself than anything. She regarded him in that way he always remembered her doing. Then she reached out and slid her hand into his.

"Your mom also once told me that you were two weeks early" she reminded him.

"It's time to go home Bobby" Slowly he got to his feet. He looked at her.

He swore that the fates or providence had been smiling down on him the day Evangeline Tyler came back into his life. She caught his look and she smiled at him and squeezed the hand that she held.

Ninety five year old Maria Pastorelli read the announcement in the newspaper.

_Goren, Frances. Beloved mother of William jr and Robert. May she find eternal peace._

**END**


End file.
